2 sinks, 1 toilet, 0 alcohol

There I was, vomiting for the 10th time into not just one, but two different sinks, all while managing to avoid the obvious target of the toilet. This was, to put it mildly, not my best moment.

It sounds overly dramatic to call it a “turning point”, as my alcohol consumption was average or less, but it was the moment in time when I started to make changes. I’ve now been alcohol-free for 1.5-2.5 years, and haven’t regretted it yet. This isn’t a hit piece on booze - if you still like to go out for drinks, all power to you. Keep our economy flowing you beautiful beast. If you are curious what it’s like to quit in your late 20’s though, you can try on my motivations & what I experienced and see if any of it resonates with you.

my motivations 🔗︎

Going alcohol-free in my life was driven by two major motivations (but only one that involved a sink):

• When I stopped to consider my life, it didn’t feel like alcohol was adding anything anymore. I’ve grown & become a more confident person. I’m able to dance around & talk to strangers without needing the crutch of booze. I’m proud of myself for doing things in spite of social anxiety, and if I were to be drunk, I think it would cheapen the pride I feel.
• I was tired of dealing with hangovers and binge drinking, which is my default. As someone who constantly sips whatever’s in hand, I’m great with water - a paragon of health! But with alcohol, “just one” would inevitably become many. I’d always give in to the subtle peer pressure of being around others with drinks. Our brains are wired to avoid feeling left out, making it hard to resist joining in.

I’m not breaking any new ground here, guidance counselors have been shouting similar reasons at teenagers for decades.

My experiences & what you might expect 🔗︎

To put my experiences in context, I was not a heavy partier, have no history of alcoholism in my family, and had no hint of actual addiction. I was transitioning from occasional weekend drinking to 0, so not a radical lifestyle change compared to many. With that said, some things you might run into, based on my experience:

• Friends who mean well, but will be frustrated that you aren’t drinking with them and try to peer pressure you. Not always who you expect, either. You’ll hear things like “Just this one time”, “But you used to!”.
• You’ll notice how many adult activities are geared around booze (wine-tasting party, “going out” to bars) or where booze is a heavily implied component (baseball games, festivals, …. honestly any event where people gather).
• Once during introductions, when I said “I don’t drink,” a friend of a friend dismissed me with a curt “lame” before walking away. I can see how that situation could be hurtful if their reason for abstaining from alcohol is for deeper reasons like religion.
• I found it wasn’t always straightforward to explain without killing the vibe of a conversation. It usually seemed better to try to deflect the conversation to something else as quick as possible. Don’t dive into why you’re not drinking right now - no one cares, they are just looking for doorknobs that carry the conversation forward.
• You’re always a convenient designated driver, whether you intended it or not.

That’s my journey from sink-hugging champion to teetotaling extraordinaire. 2 years in, and so far I don’t feel like anything is missing. I’ll occasionally partake in a round of shots or a beer for the camaraderie, but there’s no draw for me to go back. Whatever’s in your cup, remember: the best nights are the ones you genuinely enjoy. Here’s to making choices that work for you, hangover or not!